“How To Control Your Mind,” the importance of this fact I realized, when one of my friends called me up in the morning. Let’s see why we need to develop the habit of controlling our minds and how to do that.
Today’s morning my phone bell rang. It was one of my friend’s calls. We normally call each other at these odd busy hours irrespective of how much in hurry we are for office or household chores. This feeling is something different where your friend calls you to wish you good morning, tells you what achievement of the day she has made by getting up 15 minutes early by managing to leave a cozy bed and sipping coffee in chilled weather or ultimately today not going to skip the breakfast, Or has taken bath early and worshiped or practiced yoga after a long time which last time she had promised to continue daily for sure. This little morning chat with laughter and humor makes our day. We tell each other how crazy we are for our silly things. But literally, this is the true joy that I love.
So as I told you that my friend called me today’s morning. She was still in her bed I judged this through her rumbling voice. I asked her if she was alright? To this, I could not hear any voice for a few seconds. When I said Hello! Hello! twice or thrice then she only replied yeah! This time her voice was low and it was clear that she was crying.
When I asked her what happened, she replied nothing is going well in life. Everything is messed up, her office, her personal life, home, everything she is unable to manage and each new day is bringing new troubles to her. I calmed her down. Discussing everything on phone was not possible, she had taken leave for the day so we decided to meet at her place.
I will not make you bore by going into many details but when I reached her home in the afternoon and entered her room, the scene was like all the clothes were scattered on her bed, books were also lying here and there on the bed. When I saw my friend she was sitting in corner of the room gazing outside through the window. There was no option other than sitting on the bed, so I managed to put the scattered things aside and made a place for me to sit. I asked my friend what happened. She said she saw her recently broken-up boyfriend with his new girlfriend at the mall. He was happily sharing coffee with the new girl. This was the reason for her sadness. She was in a relationship with this boy for the past three years. But they broke up because the boy’s parents were not ready and they were not sharing the same caste. The caste system is still very much prevailing in our country irrespective of how much we have developed in recent years.
My friend was sad because it was not her decision of breaking up with her boyfriend. She was very much comfortable in the relationship. It was her boyfriend who broke with her and started ignoring her. She said when they had started the relationship, it was his boyfriend’s proposal only and if he was very much aware of his household situation he should not have started such a relationship.
Whenever he used to need her she was always there to support her whether during dealing with the ups and downs of his career or while dealing with any life problems. According to my friend her boyfriend was making excuses because he had got a new girl, his career was set and now it was the time to get married. Whatever may be the reason but this breakup was affecting her total life because she was unable to control her mind and emotions. Day by day it was affecting her social, professional and personal life which was more dangerous as she was sinking into a deep sea of loneliness and depression.
For a change, I made her get ready for a little outing for a scoop or two of ice cream. The purpose behind telling you the whole story is that it inspired me to come up with this post and think deeper about the reason for the problem with most of us getting through now and then in life.
Why Controlling of Mind is Necessary and How does It Affects You
If you will not control your mind, it will control you. You will be involved in overthinking, into the activities which do not matter and are useless. It will create frustration, sadness, agony, loneliness, mess u with life and surroundings.
When there is any unexpected situation in life the first thing that happens is that the person starts ignoring self. Ignoring self means not loving yourself. The daily routine gets disturbed. You start overthinking which disturbs your sleep, meals, your social and personal responsibilities.
If you will not love and respect yourself and your existence, then others will also take you for granted.
How to Control Your Mind
Controlling Of Mind is an Art that comes from Focus, Patience, Practice, and Detachment.
Thinking deeper about my friend’s situation I realized she has lost all sense of what is right and what is wrong for her and she should have control over her mind.
Then I asked myself what is meant by controlling Of Mind? Digging deeper I realized that it simply means taking charge of your emotions and thoughts which are useless and giving privilege to your priorities by controlling negative thoughts which are stopping you to do your routine necessary work.
I understand it is easy to say rather than do, but it is not impossible until and unless you are focused on your situation, until and unless you are aware of what sabotage it is bringing in yourself and to your life.
You will have to understand that only you are bothering yourself by being sad and your agony is not creating any change in anyone’s life. So make yourself understand that why panic the most loyal person who always be with you and never leave you alone and that’s YOU for YOURSELF.
No relationship can be eternal, most loyal, and purest except “YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF”. Always focus that you are only your best friend in any situation of life and you can only expect yourself to be there.
Focus on your daily routine works which are important and no one else is going to do those works for you. Let’s Say suppose you are avoiding yourself for your meals, brushing at night before going to bed, or any other personal work you can think of, then just imagine who will take charge of your dark circles or toothache. Only you will have to bear all these outcomes, no one will ever share the pain with you.
Focus on yourself, your health as well as on your looks, your personal growth, and your development. Always keep in mind that if you will lose your health or good looks it will only make you miserable. You will feel less confident and it will bother you to meet with people and make new friends as well as keep the current relationships. You will feel reclusive and out of the world.
If you will not pay attention to your personal growth and development and embrace new learning it will only create a heavy layer of rust on your skills as well as your professional life.
The key to all success is “PATIENCE and Faith”. Have patience and faith in yourself. Slowly you will generate a strong relationship with yourself. Here you will have to keep in mind that you will have to be patient enough as it will not be done in one day. But have faith that it will be done one day.
You will have to practice being patient. Your mind may see or hear things from sources that will make you disturbed. But you can condition your mind that it is but natural that you may get the information which you do not want to hear or see. If you will keep your mind already ready to accept anything bad, its effect will not shatter you. Just like if someone is going to tell a joke and if we already know what the joke is, it does not bring us that much laughter which could if we were not knowing about it.
If you face anything unexpected just like my friend who saw her ex with someone else, then tell yourself it does not affect you. You are stronger than the situation. Do not react and keep calm. Practicing this will generate patience in you and slowly you will develop resistance to the situation, and a day will come when it will never bother you.
The key to patience is to let the moment go when you are feeling extreme anger, agony, or pain. Once you will learn to overcome the moment, you will realize the moment was not so difficult as you thought it to be, and even reacting and feeling pain was not important for that.
One more big thing which generates when you do not have control over your mind is “PROCRASTINATION”. Procrastination makes you lethargic and idle. Every time a household chore or any work comes in your way, you feel reluctant and procrastinate and think that you will do it later on as you are not in the mood. This later on never comes.
Here you have to prompt your mind that you are not going to be in its control because you are not in the mood or feeling like to do so but because it is your responsibility or it is good for you so you will do it no matter what.
And the final thing which you have to learn is “DETACHMENT”. Detach yourself from the things which make you sad. And focus on the things which can divert your mind. It may be difficult initially but with time you will learn the art of detachment and escaping from any disturbing situations.
One very important thing which I have learned with time is to always be conscious about the fact that those who show you their minds and not emotions, deserve only practicality from your side and not any emotions. Because if we think and treat the people with heart, who have no value for our emotions, it will only hurt us. Stop thinking about such negative relationships with heart, because they deserve your mindfulness.
Generating these small habits and changes in yourself will help to control your mind and will not rule over you.